You think your conflict problem is smaller,
when the reality is your problem is greater.
Take an honest look.
Does it take a higher volume of disturbance now for conflict to get your attention than it did last year? Or, perhaps, only special conflict occasions grab you now? You might even notice a difference between this month and last month.

We ignore the conflict around us, tolerate it, rationalize it, adjust to it, or even take a pill. As human beings, we have an amazing capacity to cope with its pain. However we do it, we become desensitized to the conflict and its effects. A situation in which we live may be painful, but that is, or becomes, our normal.

It takes more conflict to get your attention as the volume of conflict increases because you grow less sensitive to it. But the damage continues to grow. You are even more likely to ignore the conflict when you think there is no solution. Figure 1 illustrates the dynamics.

You may be able to put it aside, but conflict is still causing significant damage to your company, to your team, and to you. It is certainly adding to your stress. It is probably distracting you or your team from things vital to your success, such as business development. It is likely instigating employee dissatisfaction and retention problems. It may be causing employee absences from work or physical illness. These are not its only effects.

So, the damage conflict is causing you and your company may be far greater than you realize.

How can you know if a serious conflict problem exists?

An objective measure.
Has conflict interfered with your meeting an objective or getting something done an average of once a week during the last month?

If your answer to this question is “Yes,” then your organization has a significant conflict problem.

This could have been conflict between departments, such as engineering and marketing, a supervisor and an employee, or your organization and a vendor. It could have been among employees, or with a customer; or it could have been in another arena.

One incident per week may not seem like a lot of conflict. After all, things happen, and any company of even moderate size will have incidents of conflict in any week. But, here we are speaking about conflict that rises to your management or supervisory level, and this represents only a small percentage of the actual conflicts in any organization.

The ramifications of conflict filter down an organization’s hierarchy, touching more people at each succeeding level.

Your next steps.
Acknowledge the problem and recognize that solutions are available.
Make a commitment to become more aware of conflict issues, and to do something about your conflict problem immediately.
Download Beginning to Make Peace With Conflict™, which sets out your first steps toward effectively solving conflict in your organization and your life. Click here if you have not already received it.


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